Great Grandparents- Not everyone is lucky enough…

Not everyone is lucky enough to know their great grandparents. Bit if you are one of the lucky ones, tap into the treasure trove of family history only they can share. Our great grandparents lived in a different era and faced unique challenges but nonetheless left an indelible mark on our lives and the world around us, even if we don’t realize it.

Some of us may be lucky enough to have met our great grandparents. What a national treasure they should be considered. Unfortunately, most of us met them when we were children and were oblivious to the wealth of information and family history they held. If only we could turn back time, sit down beside them and let them start at their beginning

We have a chance to make the most of our time together with our great grandparents if they are still alive. And if not, their stories can be found in our other relatives, old newspapers, boxes of photographs and by using everything we find, we can put their lives into perspective.

Celebrating our Great Grandparents

Memories of my great grandmother

My great grandmother Mary Estella was a stout woman with a strong jaw and piercing eyes that were always watching. Probably because we were great grandkids, and mischievous. Great grandmother Mary Estella lived not far from where we grew up. Her twin sister Anna Esther lived in the apartment on the 2nd floor of the home. These twin sisters did everything together. They were born together, both married Edgar’s and passed away in 1978.

Mary Estella married Edgar Alexander, a widow with 2 small children, when she was 19 years old. She immediately became a step-mom to Milford and Edith. And soon after had her own child, Pauline Eleanor, my grandmother.

Of all that I remember about her, she was a nurturer. In my memory she always had an apron on unless she had her church going clothes on. She cooked, baked, sewed her own clothes, and ours. She knitted, or maybe it was crochet. She had a small yappy dog. And never called her great granddaughter Kim by her name. Instead of Kimmy, she was Timmie. Even in writing.

My great grandfather Edgar Alexander passed away before I was born so I never knew him, or really heard about him. I was under 9 when Mary Estella died, so I wasn’t really paying attention.

Collecting Family Stories

Those are my memories. Nothing amazing. But very heartwarming. Just thinking about her takes me back to happy time in my childhood. Sunny days. Fresh vegetables from the garden? Family dinners. Kids playing. Adults cooking. Dogs everywhere. May we all be so lucky to be able to lean in on the good ole days every now and then.

If you are lucky enough to have a great grandparent still living, don’t miss the opportunity to create powerful memories with them now. Collecting family stories is a lost art. Keep it alive by creating moments that matter to both the young and the old. Here are some ideas for making the moments matter.

Spend time with your great grandparents

• Ask to look through old pictures
  • If you can, click on the recorder. It will be an interesting walk down memory lane with them so don’t try and write it all down and miss the magic.
  • When you pick up a picture, describe it out loud. This will help you identify the picture and the story when you look back later.
  • Preserve the picture for yourself. Scan it or just snap a pic with your cell phone. I will be writing an article about free and inexpensive ways to digitally preserve these pictures.
  • Don’t rush them. What a gift you are giving them! Your time, and interest will mean more than the fanciest car or winning the lottery.
• Go on a treasure hunt
  • Ask your great grandparent what momentos they treasure the most.
  • Video them showing and talking about it.
  • Imagine the emotion and pride you will feel one day when that memory is all you have. It could be the memory of his medal or her recipe being printed in the church cookbook.
• Draw the family tree
  • Keep it simple. Or not. Depending on the skill level a piece of butcher paper and a marker would work great! An older teen may be able to whip up something on the computer.
  • As you start with the youngest person and work backwards, record everything your great grandparent has to share. You never know if they might share a lost love, a special restaurant or where someone got married. These are important memories.
  • I have seen people do this on bed sheets that they bring it to all the family gatherings for people to see and add to. Family dynamics may change, but family contributors do not. Add everyone.

Can you see how these activities in collecting family stories will become valuable memories to fall back on in the future?

The Legacy our Great Grandparents Leave Behind

It wasn’t until I dug deeper into my family research that I really appreciated the entirety of both of my great grandparents life. Mary Estella and Edgar Alexander lived through an incredible period of our nation’s growth and history. I could write a book about her. And probably will at some point.

Our great grandparents lived through 2 World Wars and several other conflicts. They survived the Great Depression. They were witness to inventions that we today could never live without. But they did.

In my version of my family history, I see them as the greatest generation. For the most part they were honorable and loyal. The family unit was revered. They persevered through the craziness of the world in their times.

Valuable Life Lessons from our Great Grandparents

I often wonder what the greatest life lessons my great-grandparents learned were. I’ll never know but I can imagine. While it was a time of such rapid growth and invention, I like to think that the family foundations were the same.

• Treat others the way you want to be treated: They lived through a time of great prejudice towards women and people of color. I think they would want us to be different. To be better. Kind and compassionate.
• Cherish your family and friends: They really experienced a lot of highs and lows. Living through major challenges, such as wars, epidemics, and the Great Depression, brought people together in a way that I fear today’s society is no longer capable of.
• I think they would tell us to not take them for granted. They are more valuable than any possession.
• Never give up: From 1881 when my great grandfather was born until 1978 when my great grandmother died, this world changed in big ways. It must have seemed scary at times, maybe even chaotic but I think within their life they saw the benefits. I think they would urge us to reach for the stars and never give up.
• Live in the moment: Our great grandparents saw a lot in their lifetimes. It must have seemed paralyzing at times. I believe our great-grandparents would tell us that we are stronger than we think and that we should live in the present moment, appreciating the good things in our lives.

Keeping the Legacy Alive

As the mother of 2 children and the grandmother of 5 I think of the legacies we are leaving behind often. I witnessed 2 granddaughters enter this world and it changed me. No matter what our title is right now, we are an important part of a bigger, broader family history. We will have a chance to impact our family story through the way we share ourselves with others.

My grandparents left me with memories of family get-togethers, holidays, cooking and eating, laughter, outdoor picnics, taking pictures, and lots of hugs and kisses.

I haven’t veered far from that. In my family I am the entertainer, I bring people together. I make memories for everyone present. When I spend time with the children, grandchildren and god willing someday they great grandchildren, I want to be remembered as loving them unconditionally. I hope they will remember all the family activities and the family bonds we shared.

In Conclusion

The lives of our great grandparents and the lessons they must have endured are valuable treasures we should hold dear. They lived full lives, loved many people and shed many tears but most of all they went through a lot of experiences that they passed down. Lessons of loyalty, perseverance, resourcefulness and determination.

By spending time with our great grandparents, we are leaving a gift. By sharing family stories and experiences we are filling in the leaves of our family trees with rich, colorful history to pass along. Generations from now our descendants will not know the hurt or pain of our generation, the divorces or ugly break ups.

What they will know is all the people that came before them and who they were. They will be a little part of a big family tree. And our great grandparents are a great place to start!